The outside has decided to come inside. I’ve just driven two tired girls home from pizza lunch, playdate at Greenlake park, and working out in the morning. I unloaded all our stuff from our adventure (from 8:30am-1:30pm), put two tired girls to bed for naps, and started a load of laundry. I noticed I have a dandelion seed still on my shirt. When I tried to take Laura’s shoes off before I settled her down in the pack n’ play, a tablespoon of sand dumped out. The out comes in despite my best efforts.
I’ve been re-bonding with my life these past 2 days. This is the first 2 days in a month where I have had no obligations other than to myself and my family. I haven’t been to my gym for a month. I haven’t been to my church for 5 weeks. I haven’t seen J&C since Easter. I haven’t talked to my brother on the phone. And it bugs me. So I did something for me and my girls and it’s been very therapeutic.
So now we have a string of weekends at home and I can reverse the trend of April and feel rooted in my home and community and life again. April was wonderful, but a bit weird (as in not routine). My Mom came for 2 weeks. Wayne and I took a romantic trip to Port Townsend (our first time away from the girls by ourselves since Laura was born, if you don’t count Walla Walla fun fiasco). I transfered Sara’s clothes from 4T->5T and Laura’s from 18mos->2T. I then got rid of a bunch of clothes. I reorganized the tool room so I could even find all the different clothes I have. I purged a lot of junk. (all this was part of Mom’s visit. She helped enormously.) I then packed for Hawaii (which always involves getting all the summer stuff together before we have summer in Seattle). Then I attended an in town conference for 10 days while working. Our family got a one week taste of what it’s like for both parents to work full time. The last day of the conference, my inlaws arrived. I welcomed them and headed off to the conference the next day. Then we went off to Hawaii. That’s another story.
All this to say, I’m a little tired and burned out. So today was my therapy.
Amy called me the other day and asked if I wanted to have a playdate. The answer was an emphatic, “YES!” She was one of the people from my life that I had been missing.
As an aside…both day’s have had interesting parallels. Amy and Sarah O. constitute my stab at a PEPs group. Lots of Moms get support in different ways. It’s been to fun to see how what I refer to as the “Mommy network” grows in each of my friends lives. When I was pregnant with Sara, I yearned for women to talk about my pregnancy with. I was working in my Musculoskeletal fellowship and an orthopedic surgeon who was also pregnant referred me to a group called the Lavendar Pillow. It was a fun, adhoc, in home, small group of women run in PEPs style (PEPs is a parenting program in Seattle that is sponsored by the city and gathers parents of similar aged children and geography together in small support groups). It was exactly what I needed at the time to navigate the intrigues and fears of pregnancy. It was outside my neighborhood, cost money, and involved women who were not Christians. Then I discovered my Mom’s group at a local church. That group continues to be the cornerstone of my “Mommy network”. It’s Christian, local, free, fun, and teaches my kids about Jesus. I started going when I was 8 months pregnant. (it felt weird a first to go without an actual kid). Finally, I joined a informal, also PEPs style group grown by one of our church members with a heart for women’s ministry. It involved women from my church (so potentially Mom’s I’d see at church for the rest of our lives), has amazing, loving leadership, and taught me so many cool things. It disbanded after a few months mostly because of geography (everyone came from different parts of Seattle). Finally, I struggled with joining a real PEPs group (an opportunity available for about 6 months after your kids birth). My friend Annie got a strong support group out of that and Claire has been attending a twins PEPs group with her girls.
If you’re counting, that’s 4 possible groups so far. I was obviously at loose ends during my pregnancy with Sara and not working. Life swiftly changed in so many ways when Sara was born. Mostly that I had so many questions and needs for fellowship and little time or energy to pursue it. Then I acquired a new job when Sara was 3 months old. All that meant I had less energy. So I plugged into my current Mom’s group which is fabulous. It provides me Christian fellowship, Christian preschool for my girls, a network of about 30-40 Christian Moms in the N. Seattle area, parenting classes, friendship, networking with Mom’s of multiple aged kids (e.g. I can talk to the Moms who have 5 yo girls to know what’s upcoming for Sara vs. PEPs which just has folks with kids the same age).
One of the people I bonded with most from Mom’s group was Sarah O. We were pregnant at the same time with Indy and Sara. She was in Deacon’s at church, in the church PEPs, and transitioned with me to Mom’s group. She was an interior designer for hospitals still flirting with working part-time. She lived just a neighborhood over. So we started to gather every 2-3 weeks outside of these groups and watched our girls grow together. When Sarah left, there was a big gap in my heart. I’ve gotten to see her twice since she moved to Denver, once with Indy and Kelten. So the 4 hrs I had yesterday was a blessing. I still wished for more and the ability to focus on Sarah more. It’s hard for me to have meanful conversations and wrangle my girls at the same time.
Today, I drove the Greenlake to met Amy and Lydia. Lydia and Laura were born just a few days apart. I started noticing Amy in church as my belly was becoming more prominent with Laura’s pregnancy. I had the urge to seek out other women who were pregnant at the same time and share my experience to some degree (second Mom syndrome: I only went to one group, not four). When I discovered she was a pediatric cardiologist working part-time, I was hooked. I didn’t know many other Mom’s trying the part-time route, much less another doctor who’s a Christian. We started with walks around Greenlake. It was slightly harder since I had Sara. So we could only go as far as Sara would walk. But it all worked out fine. We’ve been doing playdates and even flirted with outdoor adventures together (maybe this summer). It’s been fun to have this friendship.
We arrived a bit late and couldn’t find any parking. The merry-go-round like play structure was the most popular. Sara controlled the speed, Lydia sat safely in the middle, and Laura tried to get off while the thing was moving. It was fun chaos.
Conversation is difficult when you’re trying to spot a fearless 18mo from falling 9 feet from a play structure. We worked with what we had.
I did find out that both girls are rebelling against the oppressive bib. Lydia has about 60 words. Laura is a bit more coy with her language. I say that she doesn’t speak much, but communicates well. Lately, I’ve been asking her to use the bib when she has wet, messy food. She’ll screech in protest, but generally give in if she wants the food enough. I’ve also been trialing her at the table sans booster or high chair. She does pretty good.
Me and the girls walked around Greenlake to Zeek’s Pizza. It was a perfect watering hole. We bathroomed, got good slices fast, and watched ESPN clips from the Derby to Sara’s joy. She said that “only men play soccer”. I tried to change that belief. As we walked back, we saw a humming bird, a statue of a shark in a tree, and tried to scale a wall. We went home happy.
Friendship is a beautiful thing.
